A Teacher’s New Best Friend

Anyone who thinks teaching is a desk job has clearly never stepped foot inside a school.

From the moment the first morning bell rings, you are on your feet. You are managing classroom dynamics, running playground duties, adjusting lesson plans on the fly, and answering a million questions—all before 10:00 AM. It is a high-octane, high-energy profession that requires sharp focus, immense patience, and serious physical stamina.

Yet, when it comes to finding the time to fuel that energy, teachers get the short end of the stick. Your "breaks" are rarely actual breaks. They are filled with extra student support, marking, or rushing to the staff room to wolf down whatever snack is closest before the next period starts.

Too often, this leads to the classic teacher’s dilemma: you either skip eating altogether and face a brutal mid-morning brain fog, or you grab a quick sugary treat from the staff room table, setting yourself up for an uncomfortable stomach ache and a nasty energy crash right in the middle of your afternoon class.

At 99th Monkey, we wanted to give our classroom heroes a better option. That’s why we created our Easy-Digest Plant Protein Smoothies—the ultimate, zero-mess, on-the-go fuel designed to keep you sharp, satisfied, and energised until the final school bell rings.

Zero Prep, Zero Powder, Zero Shaker Mess

Let’s be honest: no teacher has the time or the patience to deal with traditional fitness supplements during a hectic school day.

Taking a standard tub of protein powder to work is an absolute logistical nightmare. It requires you to lug a bulky shaker bottle in your bag, measure out dusty scoops at your desk (inevitably spilling white powder all over your dark clothing), and hunt down cold water. And heaven forbid you forget to wash that shaker bottle immediately—by the time you drive home, it transforms into a biohazard that smells up your entire gym bag.

Our protein smoothies completely eliminate the chaos. There is no prep, no powder, and no shaker bottle needed. We do all the hard work for you. Our smoothies come perfectly blended and ready to drink in a sleek, convenient bottle. You just grab it out of your fridge in the morning, toss it into your school bag, and you’re completely sorted. No mess, no cleanup, and absolutely zero precious break time wasted.

20g of Clean Power to Survive the School Rush

When you are burning calories on your feet all day, carbohydrates alone won't keep you going. If your breakfast or recess snack consists solely of a piece of fruit or a couple of biscuits, your body will burn through that fuel within an hour, leaving your blood sugar plummeting.

To achieve sustained, unshakeable stamina, your body needs protein.

Every single bottle of our 99th Monkey smoothies delivers a massive 20 grams of premium plant-based protein. Protein takes longer for your body to break down, which helps regulate your appetite and provides a slow, steady release of energy into your bloodstream. It stops those loud stomach rumbles in the middle of a quiet silent-reading session and keeps you feeling genuinely full and focused through consecutive teaching periods.

The Chocolate Sweet Fix with Less Than 1g of Sugar

We get it—when the day gets stressful, your brain naturally starts hunting for a sweet treat. The temptation to hit the vending machine or raid the staff room biscuit tin for a chocolate fix during recess is incredibly real.

Our smoothies give you that exact indulgent, rich chocolate flavour you are craving, but without any of the dietary sabotage. It satisfies your sweet tooth instantly, tasting like a decadent, creamy dessert.

However, unlike traditional flavoured milk or snack bars that are loaded with hidden sugars, our formula contains less than 1 gram of sugar.

This is a massive win for your energy levels. High-sugar snacks cause a rapid spike in your insulin, followed by an aggressive sugar crash shortly after. For a teacher, a sugar crash is catastrophic—it leaves you feeling sluggish, irritable, and exhausted right when you need to be at your best. Because our smoothies are practically sugar-free, you get all the delicious chocolate flavour with zero crashes.

Zero Dairy Means Zero Classroom Bloat

There is nothing worse than trying to command a room of students while dealing with a heavy, painful, and uncomfortable stomach bloat.

Because traditional protein shakes are made from whey (which is derived from dairy), they are notorious for causing digestive distress. They often leave you feeling sick, yucky, and completely gluggy in the tummy—an absolute nightmare scenario when you are standing at the front of a classroom with nowhere to hide.

99th Monkey smoothies are 100% dairy-free and engineered specifically for easy digestion. Our plant-based ingredients are incredibly gentle on the gut, meaning they pass through your system smoothly without triggering any gas, cramps, or heavy bloating. You get all the nutritional benefits of a high-protein meal, while your stomach stays completely flat, light, and comfortable all day long.

Sip on the Go: Designed for the Classroom Flow

The ultimate feature that makes this the perfect school-day companion is the convenience of our resealable bottle.

As a teacher, your schedule is unpredictable. You might open your smoothie during a five-minute recess window, get called away to handle an issue, and not get another sip until forty minutes later.

With our smart design, you don’t have to chug your drink all at once. You can simply screw the lid back on, set it on your desk, and take small, refreshing sips as you go throughout your teaching morning. It stays fresh, secure, and ready whenever you find a spare twenty seconds between activities.

Upgrade Your Teacher's Lounge Routine

You look after everyone else’s kids all day—it’s time to look after your own body. You don't have to settle for poor energy, midday crashes, or a bloated stomach just because your schedule is packed.

By swapping out the vending machine snacks for an easy-digest, chocolatey hit of 99th Monkey fuel, you can keep your energy high, your gut happy, and your mind completely focused on doing what you do best: inspiring the next generation.

Want to make your mornings even easier? Skip the supermarket rush entirely and check out our online website. We have heaps of value bundles and deals that can be delivered straight to your doorstep, so your staff room fridge is always stocked up and ready for the week ahead.