Bloat Free Protein
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If you’ve been a part of the fitness community for a while, you know the "Post-Workout Struggle" all too well. It usually goes something like this: you smash a heavy session, feel on top of the world, and then reach for a standard protein shake to help your muscles recover.
Twenty minutes later, the "bloat" sets in. You feel heavy, sluggish, and—let’s be honest—a little uncomfortable. Then, an hour later, the "crash" hits. The energy you worked so hard to build evaporates, leaving you reaching for a third coffee just to get through the afternoon.
At 99th Monkey, we knew there had to be a better way to fuel. We believe that you should make you feel lighter, stronger, and more energisded—not like you need a nap.
After months of hearing from our community, the verdict is in. Since switching to our Ready-to-Drink Protein Smoothies, the feedback has been unanimous: "My energy levels and recovery have improved significantly, and I finally don’t feel bloated before or after my workouts!"
Today, we’re diving deep into the science of why our smoothies are changing the game for athletes, yogis, and busy humans alike.
The End of the Post-Workout Crash
The "post-workout crash" is a common phenomenon, often caused by one of two things: a lack of high-quality protein to begin muscle repair, or a spike-and-drop in blood sugar from poorly formulated "recovery" drinks.
When you finish a workout, your muscles are like sponges—they are primed to absorb nutrients to repair the tiny tears created during exercise. If you don't provide them with the right tools, your body stays in a "catabolic" (breakdown) state, which leads to that exhausted, heavy-limbed feeling.
20g of Protein for Faster Recovery
Each 350ml carton of our Chocolate or Coffee Protein Smoothie delivers a solid 20g of clean, plant-based protein. This is the "sweet spot" for muscle protein synthesis. By getting this high-quality protein into your system immediately after your session, you kickstart the recovery process, reducing muscle soreness (DOMS) and ensuring you’re ready to go again tomorrow.
Because our protein is already perfectly emulsified in a liquid state, your body doesn't have to work hard to break it down. It’s fast-acting fuel that prevents the crash before it even starts.
Say Goodbye to the "Dairy Bloat"
Perhaps the most common complaint in the world of fitness supplements is the dreaded "dairy bloat." Most traditional protein shakes rely on whey, which is derived from milk. For a huge percentage of the population, lactose (the sugar in dairy) is difficult to digest, leading to inflammation, gas, and that "heavy" feeling in the gut.
Lactose-Free & Easy on the Stomach
At 99th Monkey, we chose a different path. Our protein smoothies are 100% plant-based and lactose-free.
We’ve formulated our smoothies to be incredibly "easy on the stomach." This is particularly important for those who like to fuel before a workout. There’s nothing worse than trying to run, jump, or hold a plank while your stomach is struggling to process a heavy dairy shake. Our plant-based blend sits lightly, providing the energy you need without the digestive distress.
Whether you’re drinking it 30 minutes before Pilates or immediately after a HIIT session, you can trust that your gut will stay as happy as your muscles.
Clean Nutrition: The "Zero Nasties" Guarantee
The supplement industry is notorious for "hidden" ingredients. If you look at the back of a standard protein drink, you’ll often find a list of gums, thickeners, artificial sweeteners like sucralose or aspartame, and a surprising amount of sugar.
We believe that if you want to evolve your body, you shouldn't be fueling it with chemicals.
Less Than 1% Sugar
Most "healthy" smoothies are actually sugar bombs in disguise, often containing 15-20g of sugar per serving. While that might give you a temporary "high," the resulting insulin spike actually inhibits fat burning and leads to that mid-afternoon energy slump.
Our smoothies contain less than 1% sugar. We rely on the natural, rich flavors of roasted almonds, cold-brew coffee, and premium cocoa to provide the taste you love. It’s sweet enough to feel like a treat, but clean enough to keep your blood sugar stable and your energy levels consistent all day long.
Zero Nasties
Our motif is "Clean Eats." That means:
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No Palm Oil: Protecting your health and the environment.
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No Artificial Colors or Flavors: Just real ingredients you can recognize.
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No Messy Powders: Our ready-to-drink format means no clumps, no grit, and no chalky aftertaste.
Why Energy Levels Improve on 99th Monkey
When you switch from a high-sugar, dairy-based shake to a 99th Monkey Protein Smoothie, you’ll notice a shift in your "energy quality."
Instead of a jagged peak and a steep valley, you get a "steady plateau." The combination of plant protein and the healthy fats naturally found in our almond-based blend provides a slow-burning fuel source. This is why so many of our customers report feeling more focused at work and more capable during their training sessions.
You aren't just fueling for the next 30 minutes; you’re fueling for the next four hours.
The Perfect Choice for Every Routine
How you use our smoothies depends on your specific "evolution," but here are three ways they are currently being used by the 99th Monkey community:
1. The Pre-Workout Spark (Coffee Protein Smoothie)
Need to get focused but don’t want a heavy meal? Our Coffee Protein Smoothie uses real cold-brew coffee. It provides that caffeine kick you need for focus and drive, paired with the protein needed to protect your muscles during the workout. Because it’s light on the stomach, it’s the perfect pre-session ritual.
2. The Post-Workout Rebuild (Chocolate Protein Smoothie)
After a session, your body is craving amino acids. Our Chocolate Protein Smoothie hits the spot, tasting like a chilled chocolate milk but acting like a high-performance recovery tool. 20g of protein, zero bloat, and 100% satisfaction.
3. The "On-the-Go" Lifesaver
Life happens. Sometimes you’re stuck in meetings, in traffic, or running between errands and you don't have time for a meal. Keeping a carton of 99th Monkey in your bag ensures that you always have "clean nutrition" on hand. It’s a filling, satisfying snack that keeps your metabolism humming and prevents you from reaching for processed convenience foods.
Evolution Through Transparency
At 99th Monkey, we don't hide behind "proprietary blends." We want you to know exactly what is going into your body. We are proud of our ingredients because we spend months sourcing the best Australian almonds, the cleanest plant proteins, and the richest cocoa.
We believe that the future of fitness isn't about "more"—more caffeine, more additives, more marketing. It’s about "better." Better ingredients, better digestion, and better results.
When you choose our ready-to-drink smoothies, you are choosing a product that respects your time (no mixing), your gut (no bloat), and your long-term health (no nasties).
Final Thoughts: Join the Evolution
If you are tired of the post-workout crash, the dairy-induced bloat, and the gritty texture of traditional shakes, it’s time to make the switch.
Experience what it feels like to fuel your body with 20g of clean protein and less than 1% sugar. Notice how much more you can achieve when your energy levels are stable and your stomach feels light.
As one of our customers recently said: "I didn't realise how much my old protein shake was holding me back until I tried 99th Monkey. Now, I feel unstoppable."
Ready to feel the difference? You can find our Ready-to-Drink Protein Smoothies in the chilled aisle at Woolworths or grab a 12-pack directly from our online shop.
Show us your progress! We love hearing about your wins! Whether you’ve smashed a PB or just finally found a breakfast that doesn't make you bloat, tag us on Instagram @99th_monkey.