EFFORTLESS Macros

We’ve all been there.

Alarm goes off, you’re running late, or the 3:00 PM slump hits like a brick wall. You know you need protein to keep your energy up and hit your daily macros, but the mere thought of pulling out the blender feels like taking on an Olympic sport.

Then comes the real crime: measuring out messy powders, hunting for a clean shaker bottle (and finding one you forgot to wash three days ago), blending, and being left with a sink full of dirty dishes.

Honestly? Cannot be bothered...

For those low-effort, high-fatigue days, you don’t need a complicated routine. You just need a 99th Monkey Choc Protein Smoothie.

Fuss-Free Macros Done Right

At 99th Monkey, we believe hitting your health goals shouldn't feel like a full-time job. You shouldn't have to sacrifice taste or clean ingredients just because you don't have the time or the energy to prep a full meal.

That’s why we bottled up the ultimate shortcut to top-tier nutrition.

• No Blenders: Leave the heavy machinery in the cupboard.

• No Messy Powders: Say goodbye to powder spills across the kitchen bench and clumpy, chalky bottom-of-the-shaker nightmares.

• Zero Effort: Just twist the cap, drink, and go.

It’s literally as simple as open, sip, and conquer your day.

Clean Fuel, Unbelievable Taste

Each Protein Smoothie packs 20g of clean, high-quality plant protein with zero added sugar and zero bloat. It’s simple, smooth, and tastes like a decadent, nostalgic chocolate milk - except it’s completely macro-friendly and designed to keep you satisfied.

Whether you’re rushing out the door for work, recovering post-workout without the hassle, or just need a delicious afternoon pick-me-up while sinking into the couch, it delivers pure, smooth deliciousness every single time.

You don't need a 10-step wellness routine or an hour of meal prep to fuel your body the right way. Sometimes, the smart play is just choosing the easier path.

Keep your fridge stocked with 99th Monkey Choc Protein Smoothies for those exact moments when your motivation hits zero. When life gets chaotic, let us handle the macros so you can get back to doing... well, absolutely as little as possible.

No fuss. No cleanup. Just clean protein, done right.