Team Chocolate or Team Coffee?
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We’ve all been there. You’ve just finished a workout, or perhaps you’re rushing to beat the morning commute, and you’re standing in front of the fridge with one goal: fuel up. Your body is calling for protein, your brain is calling for focus, and your taste buds are calling for something that actually tastes like a reward.
Then comes the ultimate 99th Monkey dilemma. You reach into the chilled aisle (or your own fridge) and see the two icons staring back at you.
On one hand, you have the Chocolate Protein Smoothie. It’s rich, indulgent, and hits that nostalgic "chocolate milk" spot while providing the high-performance nutrition of an elite athlete’s toolkit.
On the other hand, you have the Coffee Protein Smoothie. It’s the double-threat: the smooth, bold kick-start of real cold-brew coffee paired with the muscle-building power of plant protein.
It is, quite possibly, the hardest decision you’ll make all morning. But here is the good news—at 99th Monkey, we believe in a "no-lose" scenario. Whether you’re reaching for the cocoa or the caffeine, you are grabbing the cleanest fuel in the game. Today, we’re breaking down the stats, the science, and the vibes of both flavors to help you decide which team you’re on today.
The Stats Don't Lie: Why Both Flavors Are Elite
Before we get into the flavour profiles, let’s talk about the 99th Monkey DNA. We didn't just want to create another protein drink; we wanted to create an evolution of the category. Most ready-to-drink shakes on the market are hidden "sugar bombs" or chemical-heavy concoctions. We decided to flip the script.
No matter which flavour you choose, you’re getting a nutritional profile that is unmatched:
✅ <1% Sugar: No Energy Crashes Here
The "post-protein slump" is a real thing, and it’s usually caused by a spike in insulin from hidden sugars. We’ve kept our sugar content at less than 1%. This means you get the flavour you crave without the jagged energy peaks and the inevitable 11:00 AM crash. It’s steady, sustained fuel that keeps your blood sugar stable.
✅ <1% Fat: Lean and Clean
We know that many of our "monkeys" are looking for lean fuel. By keeping the fat content at less than 1%, we’ve ensured that the focus remains on the protein. It’s a clean, light formula that provides the nutrients you need without the heavy calories you don't.
✅ High Protein: Plant-Based Power
With 20g of premium plant protein in every carton, these smoothies are designed to keep you full and focused. Whether you’re repairing muscle tissue after a heavy lifting session or simply looking for a meal replacement that will actually hold you until lunch, we’ve got you covered.
✅ Tummy Friendly: No More Bloat!
This is the big one. Traditional dairy-based protein shakes are notorious for causing "protein bloat." Because our smoothies are lactose-free and plant-based, they are incredibly easy on the gut. You won't feel heavy, gassy, or uncomfortable. Just light, energized, and ready to go.
Team Chocolate 🍫: The "Guilt-Free" Nostalgia
If your morning motif is all about comfort and indulgence, then Team Chocolate is calling your name.
We’ve spent months perfecting the "mouthfeel" of our Chocolate Protein Smoothie. We wanted it to be smooth as silk—no gritty powder, no chalky aftertaste, just pure chocolatey goodness. It uses real cocoa to provide a depth of flavor that feels like a treat, but with the nutritional stats of a pro-level supplement.
When to Grab the Chocolate:
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The Post-Gym Reward: There is no better feeling than finishing a hard session and treating yourself to a chilled chocolate shake.
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The "Inner Child" Breakfast: Pour it over your favorite gluten-free cereal or granola for the ultimate childhood-inspired start to the day.
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The Late-Night Healthy Fix: Craving something sweet before bed? Reach for the Chocolate Smoothie. Because it’s low-carb and high-protein, it satisfies the craving without disrupting your sleep or your goals.
Team Coffee ☕️: The High-Performance Kick-Start
If you’re someone who hits the ground running and needs a "double-whammy" of energy and recovery, then Team Coffee is your undisputed champion.
We didn't just add coffee flavoring; we used real cold-brew coffee to ensure you get that authentic, bold kick-start. It’s the ultimate "life hack" for the busy human. Why wait for your coffee to brew and then mix a separate protein shake when you can have both in one silk-smooth carton?
When to Grab the Coffee:
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The Pre-Workout Spark: Need to get focused for an early morning session? The caffeine provides the drive, while the protein protects your muscles from breakdown during the workout.
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The 3:00 PM Slump Savior: When the mid-afternoon wall hits, skip the vending machine. A Coffee Protein Smoothie provides the mental clarity you need for that final push of the day.
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The Commuter’s Best Friend: It’s the perfect "grab-and-go" breakfast for when you’re out the door and don't have time to stop at a café.
The "Bloat-Free" Evolution
At 99th Monkey, our motif for 2026 is Functional Simplicity. We are moving away from the era of "more is better" (more ingredients, more chemicals, more marketing) and toward an era of "Clean is King."
The reason people are switching to our smoothies in droves isn't just the taste—it’s how they feel.
When you remove the dairy, the refined sugars, and the "nasties," you allow your body to process the nutrition efficiently. You’ll notice that you don't feel that heavy, lethargic weight in your stomach after drinking a 99th Monkey. Instead, you feel "primed." It’s fuel that respects your digestive system as much as it respects your muscles.
Clean Nutrition: Our "Zero Nasties" Commitment
We are often asked how we managed to get the taste so right with so little sugar. The answer is quality. When you start with the best plant proteins and real cocoa or cold-brew, you don't need to hide behind sugar and artificial sweeteners.
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No Palm Oil: Protecting your heart and the planet.
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Lactose-Free: Making protein accessible to everyone, regardless of sensitivities.
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No Messy Powders: We’ve done the hard work for you. No clumps, no dust, no cleanup.
The Verdict: Which One Are You Grabbing?
The reality is that your choice probably changes depending on the day. Some mornings require the comforting, rich embrace of Chocolate. Other mornings require the sharp, focused energy of Coffee.
The beauty of 99th Monkey is that both choices lead to the same result: Elite, clean nutrition that fuels your evolution.
How the Community is Rolling:
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The Purists: Those who stay strictly on Team Chocolate or Team Coffee and never stray.
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The Switchers: Those who use Coffee for their morning pre-workout and Chocolate for their evening post-run recovery.
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The Mixers: The adventurous souls who mix half and half for the ultimate "Mocha" experience.
Final Thoughts: Upgrade Your Routine
Your health shouldn't be a chore. It shouldn't involve holding your nose to finish a gritty shake or dealing with an upset stomach for the sake of your protein goals.
We’ve solved the "Healthy vs. Tasty" problem. We’ve eliminated the bloat. We’ve cut the sugar. All that’s left is for you to make the hardest decision of your morning.
So, next time you’re standing in front of the fridge, take a second. Listen to your body. Is it a Chocolate day or a Coffee day? Whichever way you go, you’re winning.
Ready to choose? You can find our Chocolate and Coffee Protein Smoothies in the chilled aisle at Coles, at your local independent health food store, or grab a mixed pack directly from our online shop to ensure you’re always prepared for the dilemma.
Join the Debate: We want to hear from you! Are you a Chocolate devotee or a Coffee enthusiast? Tag us in your "Morning Decision" photos on Instagram @99th_monkey and use the hashtag #TeamChocolate or #TeamCoffee. Let’s see which flavour is reigning supreme this week!